


The things we lost in the fire

by WinterCap221b



Category: Marvel
Genre: Feels, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Trauma, True Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-09-10 14:46:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8921200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinterCap221b/pseuds/WinterCap221b
Summary: After the events in New York, Steve suffers from PTSD. Will Natasha be able to help him?





	

** I went under, the world was at war. I wake up, they say we won. They didn’t say what we lost. **

“Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!”  
“Steve. Steve!”  
He was woken by someone shaking him. Panting and sweating he bolted upright, looking around frantically and blinking against the bright light of his bedside lamp.  
“It’s okay. It’s okay. It was only a dream,” the voice said and he now realised that it belonged to Natasha. She was sat at the edge of his bed, dressed in a green dressing gown, her hand resting reassuringly on his shoulder. “You’re save here. Nothing can happen to you.”  
Steve moaned and rubbed his face with both hands. “I woke you again, didn’t I?”  
“It’s fine.”  
“No, it’s not. I’m sorry. I tried to get this under control but I just … Ever since New York it’s like I’m back in the war.”  
“I know.” Natasha stroked his back and he relaxed a little. “Did you think about calling Doctor Miller?”  
“I’m not going to a shrink,” Steve said grumpily. “I’m Captain America!”  
“And that’s exactly why you should go and see him. We need you, and we need you sane and well rested. Just because you’re stronger and faster – and much, much older – than us,” she winked at him mischievously, “doesn’t mean you cannot suffer from posttraumatic stress disorder as well. That’s nothing to be ashamed of. You’ve been through so much. None of us can even begin to imagine.”  
“Then how is a psychiatrist supposed to help me? He has even less experience with wars than you guys do, and talking about it won’t change anything. It’s not going to bring back Coulson or Bucky or –“ He clenched his jaw and looked at her angrily. “I’m the man out of time. I’m a lab rat. No one will ever understand what it feels like to be me.”  
Without looking at him Natasha replied quietly: “I do.”   
“What?”  
“I do know what you feel like. At least in some regards. There is so much you don’t know about me, yet. Things I don’t like to talk about. Things that were done to me, things I have done. But I do talk to Doctor Miller and it helps me cope with it, cope with the past. Of course we cannot change the past but we can change the future and make sure that Coulson and Bucky and all the others who died in World War II and the battles that followed didn’t die in vain. We may not have chosen who or what we are today but we have a certain liability towards the people out there. So please promise me that you will talk to Doctor Miller tomorrow.”  
“You really are a pain in the ass, Romanoff.”  
“Language, Captain!”  
Steve chuckled softly and pecked her on the cheek. “Thank you. Yes, I will call Doctor Miller tomorrow and get an appointment. Can’t be worse than having you lecture me on life and responsibility.”  
“Careful,” she laughed nudging him in the side. “I’m not afraid to punch an old man.”  
“I know.”  
Natasha smiled and got up. “Now go back to sleep. Let’s hope you didn’t wake up Stark, you know how annoying he gets when he doesn’t get enough sleep.”  
“True.”  
“And if you need anything, you know where to find me.”  
“Thank you.”  
Natasha left and Steve turned off the light, trying to ignore the shocked face of Bucky that he still saw in his mind’s eye as his best friend fell into the ravine, his arm stretched out towards Steve who would never be able to catch him.


End file.
